Enjoyment is Eternal

Today I'm venturing out for a day's racing with a twist - it's all been organised by my Auntie Wendy as a birthday celebration for my Nan (Rita), who turns 80 today!

Me & my Nan sharing a joke about something undoubtedly hilarious

What better way to celebrate the landmark of becoming an octogenarian than meeting at the local for a fry-up, boarding a luxury mini-bus / coach (at what point does a mini-bus become a coach?) and heading up the M11 to Newmarket?  After the day is done, we are due to return to The Thatcher’s (nestled in the village of Hatfield Heath on the east Herts/west Essex border) for a hearty evening meal before staying at my parents’ crib. http://www.thatcherspub.co.uk/

The family fun-day will no doubt, however, be marred.  As my mum & dad enjoy the entertainment of £2 punts at the bookies’ stalls and my brothers pick horses by their amusing names, I’ll have already placed hefty wagers on Betfair and will be looking to top up with hearty cash injections at the mundane tote desk.. and whilst the rest of the family will board the return coach / mini-bus with laughter and merriment, I’ll be bringing the tone down having lost a couple of hundred quid by moaning all the way back from the Cambridgeshire-Suffolk border. Looking forward.

The P&L got a little boost last night, laying off the 1-2 scoreline in Montenegro £150 at 1.4 and walking away with £75 profit from the butchery in the black mountains.  Having put £75 at 9.8 on “any unquoted scoreline” I had thought that I would be quids-in after an early flurry of goals, and I was most disappointed to see Roondog getting sent off, having backed £20 of my hard-earned on him to score at 2.32.

Today, I like the look of Strong Suit in the first at Newmarket, and will be taking on Power in the Dewhurst.. but, all jokes about misery aside, the thing I am anticipating most is the prospect of uncovering 2012’s Frankel.  There’s a colt called Trumpet Major also running in the 3.10 today that I’ve backed antepost for the 2000 Guineas having seen him finish second at Ascot in the summer under Ryan Moore.  A look at his record on http://www.irishracing.com/v5horseinfo?prt=422893 reveals a liking for Newmarket, so I will seek him out at the track.  Funnily enough, he was brought to my attention by my fiancée, who backed him due to his cheerful moniker, so what do I know?  Johnny Murtagh is on-board this afternoon http://www.racingpost.com/horses/home.sd?story=927915&argument=779114

As I write this, Wales seem to have demolished a tired-looking Irish XV down under.. The score stands at IRE 10-22 WAL with 5 mins to go.  I had put £7 on Ireland at 55s before the tournament begun (following Will Greenwood's Betfair tip), but having layed off the All-Blacks with a £100 exposure, I will also profit if Wales [or any other nation for that matter] proceed to lift the World Cup.  With their stalwart defence and inventive attack, they look a quality outfit, and perhaps only their kicks let them down slightly this morning.

Happy Birthday to my Nan: 80 years old today and still fully enjoying - that's what it's all about, isn't it?

DP

ps. one more thing - I met Alan Partridge this week, cheers!

I combined a business card with the handshake... hopefully not giving AP a papercut

Don't Gamble with Friendly Chinese Girls

Did you know that in China, you can't use Twitter, you can't update your status on Facebook, and you can't legally gamble? Despite the fact that I have spent many an hour at a London Blackjack table next to many tea-drinking, coughing and spluttering Chinamen and women, in their own domestic superpower, it is forbidden.


I therefore felt like a sophisticated hacker when, upon reaching my Shanghai hotel last Sunday, I punched my password into the excellent iBetMate App (@betwaregames) and was presented with the familiar screen allowing me access to many money-making market opportunities, and the dubious pleasure of consulting my P&L.


It read thus:

Horse Racing: £10.15 | Tennis: £32.24  Total P&L:  £42.39


My £25 e/w on the talented Chubby Chandler / Lee Westwood-owned Hoof It had covered my stake, returning a measly profit of a tenner for his third-place finish, Murray had done it the hard way, coming back from a couple of sets down against Robin Haase and proving my lay of the Dutchman at 1.5 correct.  The ODI cricket, in which I was exposed to the tune of about £60, was called off and so all bets were void.

I headed out onto the streets of Shangers, taking in the sights on the Bund, dodging bicycles and spitting women who inhabit the lanes off the beaten track, and finally ate some chicken feet: skin, bones and cartilage spiced with a tangy chili glaze. Yum.  Then I met two chicks who took me to a "Tea Tasting Ceremony" in some little establishment, where I paid about £35 for 90 minutes tea-tasting, investing £100 in some of the leaves, before learning later that this classic scam had done me up like a kipper! Was I really that lacking in street-wise nous?  I thought I was enjoying a traditional experience, practised by the easterners since the days of the Ming Dynasty.  Turns out, they had made this Ming a mong :(

http://www.tripadvisor.in/ShowTopic-g294211-i642-k1172540-Tea_Ceremony_Scam_in_Shanghai_BEWARE-China.html

Beware the cute little tea experts!

The remainder of my trip was successful. Despite being able to gamble, I just couldn't really keep abreast of things out there, so I left it all alone.  I landed home on Friday morning, caught up on some admin and managed to make up for a week off from Betfair with a torrid day's trading:

Cricket: -£105.90 | Tennis: -£39.50  Total P&L:  -£145.40

And that's just the UK wallet!  Having backed England vs India at the Oval, I became convinced that the visitors would triumph, with newly drafted all-rounder Jadeja looking impressive. Over on Ashe, I was let down by Roddick's failure to keep up with Nadal's power, who blasted into the final four 3-0 (the set bet scoreline I had laid!) to join the other top seeded racquet wielders. 

Down under, having transferred a £100 war-chest into Betfair's Australian wallet (which also allows you to punt on events occurring in NZ and Tasmania.. looking forward to the National Tasmanian Devil Derby later this year), I promptly lost small stakes on New Zealand to win their opener against Tonga by +70.5 pts on the handicap and Dan Carter to score more than 17.5 individual points - I had £50 on that at 1-2 and was cursing the gorgeous egg-chasing record-breaker as he missed a couple of easy kicks and finished short of my required mark.

My long-term bets for the tournament are £7 on Ireland to win outright at 54-1 with a view to laying off later, and England to win the whole thing: £30 at 18.5.

I'm going to sign off and make a nice English Breakfast cup of Twinings tea, add a drop of milk, and drink it (without slurping or sucking it down like the Shanghai locals) whilst watching England take on the Argies.. no idea what to bet on so will consider the RP's advice of England to win by >11.5pts.


I'm also going to have Wilkinson to score more than 13.5pts, backing at 1.75 with £40.

Xie Xie!!