From Newmarket Nightmare to Freaky Frankel Fightback

As predicted, the Nan at Newmarket ninth decade celebration (http://palphabet.blogspot.com/2011/10/enjoyment-is-eternal.html) ended in despair as I chased losses and ended up around £600 down, backing short-priced favourites with reckless beer-blinded abandon, throwing all strategic research out the window.

I have to say, HQ premier enclosure disappointed somewhat: bar staff who didn't seem to know the difference between a pint of Guinness and a gin & tonic; security staff who wouldn't let my grandparents out onto the viewing gallery until they had necked their drinks (not an easy feat, even for my relatives, when you're more used to sipping than supping); staff in general who may have been drafted in for a particularly busy day but who really didn't represent the Cambs / Suffolk border in the way one would have expected. 

Ascot's Champions' Day, on the other hand, did not disappoint.  Some staff passes afforded entry into otherwise prohibited parts of the track, and at no point anywhere did men in orange vests attempt to curtail our enjoyment by demanding we take drinks inside.  Neither did any barmen or women need me to explain how to pour a drink.

The previous week's losses of a Monkey and a bag of hooves were more or less replenished thanks to hefty performances from Deacon Blues, Opinion Poll (TBP), hefty stakes on horse-of-a-generation Frankel, and hefty tipping from Mr Tom Segal, who we all followed in on the final handicap of the day, netting a 28-1 winner and a 17-1 place (Edinburgh Knight and Castles in the Air respectively) and returning just shy of 300 quid.

I'll let some pictures tell the rest of the story - we had a great day and I'd also like to recommend you check out beatboxing supremos Duke (@dukeofficial), who rounded off the ceremonies with a fantastic array of lip & tongue techniques not seen put to such good use since Emmanuelle IV.

You can see the look of love - and they both have the same smile :)

Trainer and owner soul-shake

Two Princes

Queeny and Queally share a moment

Ronnie Wood meets someone with fuller lips than Mick Jagger

Characters

The Irony

After years of stalking, I meet Brazil

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

I'm going to start making more than just mental notes of referees' names and their disconcertingly frequent penchant for ignoring the laws of Association Football, particularly whilst in charge of the proceedings on-pitch at Leyton Orient's Brisbane Road.  

Coote: Cunte

I got 2 right, didn't I?  No.

Two have stuck out in recent weeks: David Coote (left) officiating in the middle of our Tuesday night defeat to AFC Bournemouth a few weeks ago; and Oliver Langford (right) who was so so awful yesterday that home and away fans alike joined vocally together to berate him with a round of "YDKWYD" after he gave us a goal kick when it was clearly a Sheffield United corner, ignoring his assistant referee who was vigorously waving his flag to indicate that the ball had deflected at least 20 degrees off of a red-socked lower-leg.

If you have any rogue refs to add to the gallery, let me know.  I will try to report more comprehensively on the inadequacy of lower-league officials as the rest of the season unfolds - they really do seem to want to ruin it for everyone. 

DP

Enjoyment is Eternal

Today I'm venturing out for a day's racing with a twist - it's all been organised by my Auntie Wendy as a birthday celebration for my Nan (Rita), who turns 80 today!

Me & my Nan sharing a joke about something undoubtedly hilarious

What better way to celebrate the landmark of becoming an octogenarian than meeting at the local for a fry-up, boarding a luxury mini-bus / coach (at what point does a mini-bus become a coach?) and heading up the M11 to Newmarket?  After the day is done, we are due to return to The Thatcher’s (nestled in the village of Hatfield Heath on the east Herts/west Essex border) for a hearty evening meal before staying at my parents’ crib. http://www.thatcherspub.co.uk/

The family fun-day will no doubt, however, be marred.  As my mum & dad enjoy the entertainment of £2 punts at the bookies’ stalls and my brothers pick horses by their amusing names, I’ll have already placed hefty wagers on Betfair and will be looking to top up with hearty cash injections at the mundane tote desk.. and whilst the rest of the family will board the return coach / mini-bus with laughter and merriment, I’ll be bringing the tone down having lost a couple of hundred quid by moaning all the way back from the Cambridgeshire-Suffolk border. Looking forward.

The P&L got a little boost last night, laying off the 1-2 scoreline in Montenegro £150 at 1.4 and walking away with £75 profit from the butchery in the black mountains.  Having put £75 at 9.8 on “any unquoted scoreline” I had thought that I would be quids-in after an early flurry of goals, and I was most disappointed to see Roondog getting sent off, having backed £20 of my hard-earned on him to score at 2.32.

Today, I like the look of Strong Suit in the first at Newmarket, and will be taking on Power in the Dewhurst.. but, all jokes about misery aside, the thing I am anticipating most is the prospect of uncovering 2012’s Frankel.  There’s a colt called Trumpet Major also running in the 3.10 today that I’ve backed antepost for the 2000 Guineas having seen him finish second at Ascot in the summer under Ryan Moore.  A look at his record on http://www.irishracing.com/v5horseinfo?prt=422893 reveals a liking for Newmarket, so I will seek him out at the track.  Funnily enough, he was brought to my attention by my fiancée, who backed him due to his cheerful moniker, so what do I know?  Johnny Murtagh is on-board this afternoon http://www.racingpost.com/horses/home.sd?story=927915&argument=779114

As I write this, Wales seem to have demolished a tired-looking Irish XV down under.. The score stands at IRE 10-22 WAL with 5 mins to go.  I had put £7 on Ireland at 55s before the tournament begun (following Will Greenwood's Betfair tip), but having layed off the All-Blacks with a £100 exposure, I will also profit if Wales [or any other nation for that matter] proceed to lift the World Cup.  With their stalwart defence and inventive attack, they look a quality outfit, and perhaps only their kicks let them down slightly this morning.

Happy Birthday to my Nan: 80 years old today and still fully enjoying - that's what it's all about, isn't it?

DP

ps. one more thing - I met Alan Partridge this week, cheers!

I combined a business card with the handshake... hopefully not giving AP a papercut